Life With Some Regrets

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Everyone tries to make choices that they don’t regret, but inevitably, regrets happen. Here are some thoughts on life with some regrets I’ve experienced.

The idea for this post came to me one day while I was mid Peloton ride. I happened to look out at our backyard hill and patio and thought “I regret putting in this patio.” This caused a stream of consciousness to flow as I processed my entire life and asked myself what other decisions weren’t the best.

Perhaps it is pessimistic to not look at the bright side of every decision I make. Of course you can still learn from experiences you wish hadn’t happened. And you can also appreciate things that came out of them. But just because I say I regret something doesn’t necessarily mean I would change the past.

So instead of “life with no regrets,” here is my list of life with some regrets in a flashback analysis.

Regret: Putting in the backyard patio

The day we stopped using the back yard was the day the patio was built. The hill back there is just too steep! And it’s always covered in dog poop too. While we could scoop up the poop faster, we have learned that we need to do something about that hill or we’ll never enjoy our backyard.

I put the patio in in 2016, and there were some miscommunications with the builder about how steep the final hill would be. I spent $4,000 on sod that year, and grass hasn’t grown since. Thomas discovered that most of the dirt used was “bad dirt” full of rocks, so it doesn’t hold water at all.

We want to do something with the back yard in the coming years, but we still don’t know what (terrace it? add more dirt? dig out the hill?). So for now it’s just a nice mountain of brown grass and dog poop and we play in the front yard!

No Regrets: Screened In Porch

On the flip side, we LOVE our screened in porch! Turning our deck into a porch was one of the best decisions ever. We are out there ALL the time in the warmer months, which in Virginia is 3/4 of the year.

Once we finish our renovation, I’d like to make the porch even cozier. We are sad to not be able to use it much this year.

Also, No Regrets On Our Fitness Room

This pandemic-inspired transformation of a storage room to Peloton room was great! We still use it almost daily. LOVE having the Peloton (and are also sad we’ll use it less this summer when we’re at the other house).

Regret: Course About Courses

Back in 2020, I knew I wanted to create an online course and chose my topic: Digital Clutter. I needed someone to walk me through the process of setting it up and marketing it, and I heard a podcast with the owner of Recurring Profit (a course about courses) on another podcast I liked. And without doing any research, I bought her program that week for 3x as much as a lot of the comparable programs out there.

While I did end up creating a successful course of my own, it did not come with ease. I didn’t love the program, and I really regret how much I spent. If I could rewind, I would sign up for one of the other course-about-courses programs.

No Regrets: Creating Courses

HOWEVER, I am so thankful that I now know how to create courses! I’m so proud of the two that I offer, and hope to launch Bloom again in the fall as a live cohort. And since I pay a lot each month for Kajabi, I want to create even more mini things to offer – perhaps a home organizing course of sorts at some point in the future. What problems could I help solve with a course? Leave it in the comments!

Regret: Not Getting On Trends Sooner

I am slow to adopt new things: Instagram, Reels, TikTok. I remember when Instagram first came out I was so slow to get on it. It took me probably a year to create my first Reel. And I still can’t get into TikTok (although I do have an account!).

I also neglected my YouTube and email list for YEARS while I basically paused any growth to focus on being a mom. Lots of regrets in the potential lost there.

No Regrets: Beautycounter

But one area of growth I have been super grateful to have partnered with on the early side is Beautycounter! It’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made from both a mission / values standpoint and a financial place. I am so thankful for my repeat clients and those who have given the products a try. It’s a kick-ass company with all the best intentions in sustainability, product innovation, supply chain transparency, human rights, net zero, and more. Learn more in the social mission report.

Regrets: College Friends

One major regret I do have in life in general is that I hung around the fraternity house too much in college. Because Matt and I started dating in the second half of freshman year, I was often hanging out with him and his friends and let my friendships with my freshman hall mates fade.

I see so many groups from college still getting together 20 years later and wish I had stuck with the girls! I think I had some social anxiety around it and wish I could go back and tell my younger self to invest in those female relationships when I had the chance. While I did have some close girl friends whom I cherished, I had more guy friends than girl friends.

No Regrets: Love Life

You might be wondering if marriage is on this list. Do I regret getting married young? Actually, no. It was what I wanted and needed at that time. I doubt you could have convinced me otherwise. I had a lot of personal growth in my mid-twenties to thirties and felt that I was spit out almost a totally different person.

I also feel that the timing of my divorce and remarriage was right for so many reasons. But even with meeting Thomas: had I met him in his 20s, we likely would not have been a good pair 😉 Boy was a bit wild from what I hear!

But on this day in 2016, we met for a first date. We clicked immediately. No regrets there!! {Happy anniversary Thomas!}

Regrets: Hangovers

But no fingers pointed because I’ve been a bit wild at times myself! I’ve regretted every single hangover I’ve ever had. Gosh I hope there is never another one! Switching to nonalcoholic most nights of the week has been life-changing for me, but at the same time, when I do drink, my tolerance is about as low as it has ever been. One drink now and I’m out!

No Regrets: Laser Hair Removal

And on a fun note, I had laser hair removal years ago on my bikini and underarm areas and THAT was a great investment!!! : ) Even though it hurt like hell, I’m so glad I did it.

Also no regrets on the pain of having babies with no epidural, having crazy braces in grades six through eight, or every dollar I’ve invested in self-care or better health.

In general, I think we never regret time spent with others. Experiences and relationships are always worth the investment.