Sometimes even after a breakup, you long for your ex because you end up realizing your he or she was the right one for you. If you are going through something like this, I can understand how you feel, and I’m here to help.
In this article I will be discussing how to get your ex back quickly using 5 steps that are known to work. With the help of this guide, I hope you can reconcile with your ex, and your relationship is stronger this time around!
5 Steps You Should Take, To Get Your Ex Back
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Give Them Personal Space
Personal space is extremely important. No matter how much you love someone or want to be with them 24/7, personal space is something to which every individual has a right. You should be able to have some time to yourself to clear your thoughts and enjoy some me-time.
Relationships are often unsuccessful because partners cannot understand the importance of each other’s personal space. And the lack of personal space results in unintended consequences.
If you choose to be overly clingy, phone them incessantly, and repeatedly invade their personal space to win your ex back quickly, you are doing the opposite of what you should be doing. Your ex will not appreciate this neediness as they might want some time off yourself, and you are not showing any respect for their personal space will cause them to be irritated.
The urge to call them and let them know how much you still love them and miss them might be strong, but if you do, your ex will dislike you even more and feel as if you care only about yourself and are disregarding your ex’s emotions.
Even if you mean well, refusing to provide them with space will make them feel like you are trying to bother them for no reason.
If you give your ex enough time and privacy to sort out their head and get a break, they will realize that you are respectful of their boundaries, and they will begin to miss you. Giving them personal space benefits both of you. It will be advantageous for you, as you will give time to yourself to examine your behavior and address your relationship issues.
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Do Not Contact Your Ex (Social Media Included)
Not contacting your ex is one of the main steps of getting your ex back quickly. However, for people who have been in a relationship for a long period, ignoring the existence of each other might be a hard task. However, it is an essential step to take if you are trying to figure out how to get your ex back quickly.
Yes, it is extremely plausible if you find it hard not to contact someone whom you have loved all this time dearly and have spent some of the most amazing times together and been there for each other through the good times and the terrible times. Some people think that staying in touch with your ex after your split and communicating with them almost every day will make it hard for them to get over you, and you guys might patch up right away. But this is not what takes place. Rather, it conveys desperation and the need to reconnect urgently to your ex. However, your ex will not appreciate this. Rather be more turned off by your behavior.
On the other hand, if you stop contacting your ex, your ex might start missing you and wonder where you have been all this time if all sorts of communication are suddenly eliminated.
Your mental or emotional state might not be the best after a breakup. Zero contact will stop you from passing snarky remarks or being harsh or needy to your ex. You will be able to think through stuff, not blurt out things spontaneously and regret them later.
Your anxiety and insecurities should not be why you impatiently start contacting your ex. All these emotions need to be controlled initially so that you can establish a healthy connection when your headspace is free from all the grievances regarding the relationship.
No contact means you erase their existence from your phonebook or mobile. You can still have their number and add them on social media contacts but do not engage in conversations with them. You can hide their messages and posts so that you do not have to see them on your feed repeatedly. Social media platforms such as Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Snapchat are included.
Another big thing to avoid is drunk calling and texting. That is a huge NO. When you are intoxicated, you are not in your complete senses. Hence, the chances of you doing something you will regret later are very high. If you say something mean that is irreversible or something that sounds extremely needy, your ex will be put off by your behavior and might feel like you are deliberately trying to guilt-trip him. You will not get back your ex, but you would have successfully made a fool of yourself.
You should also not track your ex’s whereabouts or ask your friends to spy on them by seeing where they go and what they do regularly. This is borderline stalker behavior, and if your ex knows about your doings, they will be extremely disheartened and distressed. The more you do things like this, the more you want to contact them.
Another way you can limit your contact is by not attending parties or gatherings organized by your common friends where you are sure that the chances of seeing them are greater.
The no contact rule also includes not contacting your ex’s family member or friend. If you do so, your ex might explode at you for invading their privacy and troubling their family.
Remind yourself during the no contact period that you have the identity that others should associate with you, and you should give yourself some time too.
Don’t worry about how you will patch up with your ex if you are not even allowed to contact them. You can contact them after some time, but make sure to know your self-worth and don’t do anything that will lower your self-esteem.
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Be a Person You Can Be Proud Of
Before you can be a loved one to someone else, you need to love yourself. You need to focus on your positive attributes and enhance them. It would be best if you determined your identity regardless of your relationship status. When you have broken up, take time to redefine yourself and be proud of who you are. Evaluate what are the lacking points in your personality and work on them.
You won’t achieve anything if you stay at home after your breakup and mope around without making positive changes to your personality. It’s acceptable to be unhappy after a breakup, but it’s not normal to sink deeply into sadness. Moreover, doing this will surround you with negative thoughts.
You need to work on your personality and attempt to be someone of whom you can be most proud if you want to mend fences with your ex. It would be better to examine any relationship-related areas where you may have faltered personally and attempt to improve them.
When you are proud of yourself, you will not just appreciate your abilities but others too.
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Bring Positive Changes in Your Appearance
Changing your appearance can boost your confidence and make you feel more positive and self-assured. This new look in your appearance will surprise your ex, too, once you see them after your no-contact period.
You can change your appearance by getting a haircut or styling your hair in a different way than you normally do. Haircuts make you feel less stressed and release endorphins; hence, after a breakup, most people tend to feel low. Haircuts are a great option to feel invigorated again.
Another way you can change your appearance is by keeping your teeth clean so that you can smile in the best way possible. A smile costs nothing and is a free way to improve your appearance.
It would be best if you also worked on the clothes you wear. Wear clothes that make you feel good about yourself and like you can rule the world.
Most importantly, it would be best if you also worked on your diet and exercise. You need to spend your life in the best way possible, and you will be able to do so only if you have good health. Exercise will positively affect your body; the released endorphins and adrenaline will make you happier.
Your new appearance will shock your ex once they see you, and they’ll realize how you have been taking care of yourself and how you can be independent.
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Implement Positive Changes to Your Mentality
To get your ex back quickly, you need to be mentally in a good place. Otherwise, your relationship will be no different than it was last time around.
You need to think of good thoughts and not let yourself feel worthless or be less confident. You should accept your failures and successes and learn from these experiences to work towards better goals. Widen the way you define yourself. If you have a sound mentality, you will look at things from a different perspective, not be affected by minor inconveniences, and be able to be a better partner in a relationship.
Let Yourself Grieve
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Breakups are heartbreaking because you have been with a certain person for a long time and shared all your good and bad memories with them. A unique bond is formed, and when broken, it can cause you to be extremely sad. Thus, it is acceptable to grieve. You might not want to reflect on your happy experiences in a positive light. Rather, you might sulk over how creating more such memories won’t be possible.
You shouldn’t, though, let your misery and self-pity consume all of your time. Instead, it’s equally important to make yourself joyful and feel better. Letting yourself grieve is alright, but not to the point where you become disabled from doing mediocre tasks.
Make Journal Entries
Noting down your emotions can help you gather your thoughts, and while writing them down, you can also realize where you might have gone wrong and where the other person might have gone wrong. It helps you assess different situations in your relationship. And when you finally reconcile with your ex, you will know how to react to certain situations.
Moreover, if you keep your emotions bottled up, you will only feel worse about yourself.
Focus on Your Family & Friends
An excellent method to unwind and relieve stress is to spend quality time with your friends and family. Friends and family support you and be there for you when you’re not feeling well or are at a low spot in your life. They always want the best for you. They can help you keep busy and avoid contacting your ex or thinking about them.
Your real friends and family can also give opinions about your shortcomings in the relationship and what you can do to improve those.
Try to Meditate
Through meditation, you can transform your mindset for the better. Negative emotions can be reduced by meditation, and you can identify your strengths and limitations. You will feel more confident in yourself and be able to accept yourself as you are with the help of meditation. Others won’t believe in you or your ability if you don’t believe in yourself. So, if you want to mend fences with your ex, you must first be confident in your capabilities.
When faced with a stressful circumstance, you can learn how to manage your tension and comprehend many viewpoints. Your ex will be more eager to have you back if they see positive changes in you that lead toward growth.
Go On Dates
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You might be wondering how going on dates will help, if the end goal is to get your ex back as soon as possible. After all, what purpose will it serve to date other people when all you want is your ex back? However, this is also necessary. When you go on dates with different people, you learn about their preferences and expectations, and can contrast them with your previous relationship.
On that note, if your ex also starts dating, you shouldn’t lose your composure. Maybe they also want to learn about what’s out there, and in the process about themselves. At times, people start dating right away to move on from a breakup, but rebound relationships don’t always last long.
Ask Yourself the Important Questions
When the question of how to get your ex back quickly is raised, there are some questions you need to ask yourself too. This is important so that you can self-analyze and understand how you might have played a part in the breakup. And how to avoid that in the future.
To identify areas for growth, you must reflect on your partner’s personality and behaviors and evaluate your past to know what could have caused a fallout.
You can’t know what goes on in your partner’s mind at all times. But you can understand what goes on in yours. So, you should think of any scenario that led to a fight while you were together and try to remember how you dealt with the situation and how you could have handled it more appropriately.
Be Critical of Yourself
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A breakup could be due to your faults too. Hence, you should be able to recognize your mistakes and accept them. You shouldn’t let your ego come in between and ignore mistakes that you have made. Rather, you should be self-critical, try to understand your mistake, and promise not to repeat it.
If you happily accept your self-criticism, you will be able to feel more self-assured and aware.
If you decide to patch up with your ex, you must ascertain what went wrong and what caused your actions at the time. Thanks to this, you will be better able to handle similar circumstances in the future.
However, you shouldn’t be extra hard on yourself and beat yourself for any mistakes. Rather, apologize if you are wrong and ensure you don’t make the same mistake.
Were You Being Extremely Needy?
When you are in a relationship, sometimes, you fall in love way too much and become completely dependent on your partner. At times, you don’t even realize how badly dependent you are. Your happiness and enjoyment start revolving around your partner only, and you expect them to know all your emotions and react accordingly. Sometimes, you even lose your social life and demand your partner to give you all their attention and time.
However, you are so absorbed in your feelings that you fail to realize that you are burdening your partner. Your partner feels overwhelmed to ensure that they are fulfilling all your needs.
Hence, it would be best if you analyzed whether or not your behavior was appropriate. If you were clingy and needy to the point where your partner felt like their boundaries were not being respected, you needed to take a step back and not be extremely dependent on them.
Regain Your Sense of Worth
You instantly start questioning yourself when you go through a break up. You also doubt yourself and thoughts such as “Did I do something wrong?” “Was I to blame?” keep spreading in your mind. You start feeling worthless and distressed.
However, you need to understand that your ex fell in love with you in the first place. Hence, you surely have a lot to offer. You shouldn’t think that you don’t deserve to be loved. Rather should realize that some reason, such as lack of communication or incompatibility issues, might have resulted in the breakup, which is not your fault.
You can regain your self-worth by listing all the times you did something that surprised your ex. It would help if you surround yourself with people who would boost your self-esteem and make you feel amazing.
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Be Open to Changes within You
There can be many reasons for a breakup. One of these is due to differences in behavior and personality. Hence, you should be open to changes in your personality. This does not mean that you change everything about yourself. Rather, change those attributes that do not add positivity or growth to the table.
If you are planning to get back with your ex without working on yourself, you might break up again because you won’t deal with your personality issues the right way.
If you want your ex back, you need to change your repulsive behaviors so that your ex can also observe how you are trying your best to change yourself for the better and so that the relationship works.
We often get frustrated because we cannot pinpoint the problems within us. It would help if you asked your most reliable friends and family members to point out your shortcomings, as true friends and family will always guide you to the path of betterment.
What if Your Ex Has Found Someone Else?
Your ex might likely be seeing someone else. However, you don’t need to panic. You were with your ex in a relationship before. And you still have a chance to get back together with them again.
Possibly, the new person in your ex’s life is just a rebound. Therefore, there is still a potential that you will win back your ex, but it all depends on your attitude and behavior.
Try not to mention the person they are dating when you start talking to your ex once the no-contact period is over. Instead, focus on your common interests and the great time you both spent together. By exercising patience and avoiding upsetting your ex, try to reestablish communication. It might be hard to win back your ex if they have found someone else, but it’s not an impossible task.
The key is, do not play any mind games and be honest and upfront. Just be your genuine self.
Final Thought – How to Get Your Ex Back Quickly Using These 5 Steps
When you break up, it can be very challenging to move on. And in some cases, it feels like the most difficult thing to do, especially when you still have strong feelings for your ex and know that your ex is the right person for you.
If that’s the case, you should take the mentioned here to get your ex back quickly. With the right mindset, and avoiding being unnecessarily clingy and respecting your ex’s personal space and boundaries, it is not impossible to get your ex back. Even if your ex has started dating someone else, you still have a chance!
